Nothing brings a family together better than the holidays. Unless it is a deranged alien bent on destroying eveything. That will united even the most dysfunctional familys.

 

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Shocktoberfest 2021, Yuletide Edition

What do you do if you are into horror films but none of your family is, yet they insist you put together a list of holiday favorite movies because you are also the designated AV and IT guy? You can apply yourself to coming up with a bunch of family favorites guaranteed to warm their hearts or do such a terrible job that they will ask nothing of you ever again.

This situation does not warrant compromise. Either everyone will gather with cups of warm cocoa in their best Christmas sweaters and chuckle at the hijinks of whatever nightmarishly wholesome story of family bonding they settled on while you sit off to the side in your Nightmare on Elm Street —Dream Warriors hoodie, praying for a zombie apocalypse, or they glare with hatred at you as they pack up their still wrapped presents and leave.
Here is the thoughtfully curated list of films that I’m going to present to the family to watch together this holiday season.

Psycho Gorman (2020) – My number one choice is this wacky, nightmare trip of family bonding. It is lots of fun; the script is witty and Mimi is Hannibal Lecter level evil as she kills God and brings about the end of the world. Here is my review.

Black Christmas (2019) – This is near the top of my list because it’s a fun Christmas movie and an excellent gateway film for future genre fans. The PG 13 rating means most moms will let their tweener kids watch it. You can read my review here.

Sharing Black Christmas with my granddaughter was one of this year’s holiday highlights!

Better Watch Out (2016) / Anna and the Apocalypse (2017) I saw these when they first came out and have always wanted to watch again. I hope to bring along my family on these wild, twisted takes on holiday cheer. Update – Based on its misleading trailer, the family chose Better Watch Out last night. The actual movie is not the fun-filled, laugh-riot, Home Alone comedy the trailer promised. Everyone enjoyed it, but caveat emptor!

Gremlins (1984) – We can all hope that the cuddly, cute furry Christmas toy is just the flimsy skin of a terrifying, scaly, demon seeking to wreak havoc on our holidays. Never has chaos and destruction looked like so much fun.

The Shining (1980) – Forced family togetherness doesn’t always descend into murder and mayhem. But if it does this year, I wish it happens in a haunted and isolated luxury hotel in the mountains and Stanley Kubrick were there to capture it.

 

Finally, an olive branch to extend if no one wants to watch a horror movie: The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996), is not horror but a terrifically fun, Christmas action film. Seriously, where else can you find such helpful holiday tips such as how to weaponise children’s toys and leap safely from a tall building with just a machine gun to break your fall? Plus, I cannot think of any pre-CGI film with such over-the-top action sequences. The finale features a dash across a bridge amidst a literal rain of burning cars! Woo-hoo! Bring on the fruitcake!

Geena Davis gracefully transitions from Christmas MILF to full-on action hero.