Insomniac Theater Presents: H.P. Mendoza's I am a Ghost

I started this blog in 2010, when I became ill and couldn't sleep.  The Insomniac Theater  was a chance to dump some of the obsessive thoughts into the larger muck pond of the Internet. My daughter's cat, Olivia, would pad into  my room as I set up my laptop and put on headphones.  Tucked under my chin, she would watch the colors of on laptop screen while I explored all the movies I could get my hands on.  We were a weird pair, me with my nearly useless limbs and this scrawny, angry black cat the only two creatures awake in the house.  A perfect time for ghost stories.

 H.P. Mendoza's ghostly chiller I Am a Ghost would have been a perfect movie for those nights.

Evil Dead ( Fede Alvarez, 2013)

The last time I saw a movie that such an intense audience impact as the new The Evil Dead  was 1999's The Blair Witch Project, which left some poor girl  weeping in terror long after the lights came back on.    Even though the remake of Sam Raimi's 1981 The Evil Dead  wasn't the life changing event I hoped it would be, it is still had a good time.  Unless you are the poor guy behind  me who fainted during the tongue-cutting scene (at about 2:09 in the red band trailer).

 Fede Alvarez's  version of The Evil Dead is a basic "5 Stupid People in the Wrong Place" movie where the beginning sets out the back story.  In this case, douche-bag brother Dave (Shiloh Fernandez, the hunk from Little Red Riding Hood) and his girl friend show up at his little sister Mia's (Jane Levy from the US version of Shameless) cold-turkey heroin intervention.  I did a lot of eye rolling, especially over the horribly bad choices the characters made before the crazy happened.  Seriously, the best thing to do would have been to drop Mia off at a nice clean rehab under a qualified doctor's care and everyone else find an Al-Anon meeting.

Worst moment:  Mia seriously burns herself and everyone wants to take her to a hospital.  Everyone except friend Olivia (Jessica Lucas), the worst nurse  in movie history.  Nurse Ratched is against going to a hospital because "She would just get the same treatment I'm giving her."  Not really, in a hospital they have real doctors and medical equipment.  All she brought is a large supply of Chlorazepam.  Seriously, when others need medical attention, Dave's girl friend and an old first aid kit in the shed at the first line of defense.  Granted, by the time they needed bandages, the nurse was out of the picture, but she still should have brought bandages. 

Once the supernatural stuff starts to happen, the movie's pace quickly speeds up.  There is very little of the vacillating between "She is a demon" and "She still my sister."  

From 1981's The Evil Dead

I wasn't sure I wanted to see until I saw Sam Raimi's car in the another trailer.  Not because I am opposed to remakes, but because I didn't think it would be any good.  Too often I've seen low budget, independently made horror movies redone with large budgets, CGI, and TV stars trying to  make the jump to movies and found them lacking.

Not all source material needs to be treated with an almost fanatical sense of reverence, after all, this is not The Koran. It isn't the duty of every remake or reboot to is to be extended homage to the original (ever see Gus Van Sant's Psycho?).  And don't get me started on the "It's not as good as the book" crowd.  In both cases, people seem to forget that it is an original movie first, then a remake of an older film or movie version of a book.

This Evil Dead is not a shrine to Ash, Scott, Cheryl, Linda and Shelly, the characters of the original (and the word deadites is never said).  It is its own thing.  Once you get pat that, it is pretty kick ass horror movie and I am glad I saw it.  There was plenty of the jump-out-of-your-skin moments.  It certainly kicked the ass of the guy behind  me.   

I can't really think of a better recommendation than that.  

The Woman in Black, (James Watkins, 2012)

I just finished watching Hammer Films' The Woman in Black with Harry Potter Daniel Radcliff, Ciaran Hinds and some of the most frightening CGI I have ever seen.

This film was pants-wettingly-scary, plenty of jump out of-your-skin moments.

True story:  In 1984, my girlfriend and I went to see  a Friday the 13th movie on a rainy, Easter Sunday before her  parents took us back to Miami University.  I remember thinking it was odd that there were so many small children in the same theater.

The movie was laughably bad, which is not always a bad thing with me.  As I was explaining to my girlfriend that Jason was surely about to grab his next victim from under the stairs I paused long enough to jump out of my seat and somehow leap completely over her, landing on her lap and screaming the rest of my snarky comments about how predictable a movie it was into her ear, all because Jason Voorhees grabbed his next victim from under the stairs.

Better than drugs.

The Thing (Matthijis van Heijningen, 2011)

I just came from watching (the prequel to) 1982's The Thing, confusingly enough also called The Thing and I am  giving it a 3/4 jar full of change (I am looking for an original icon to use to rate movies) of terror.

Insomniac Theater Presents: Dead Birds (2004)

If a movie as slow paced, poorly developed and predictable as Alex Turner's Dead Birds doesn't nod me off, it is time to start looking at chemical sleep aids.

Following the exhausted formula of a group of unlikeable characters in a spooky place being killed one at a time by a supernatural force, Dead Birds failed to deliver any pleasurable thrills.

Insomniac theater presents: Paranormal Activity 2

Large portions of both
films are in night vision

Possibly one of the most horrifying, real life moments in recent memory was Halloween weekend, 2009, while I was watching Paranormal Activity (2007, Oren Peli).  Liza, a friend, was visiting from out of town and staying in the extra bedroom in our house.  Everyone had gone to bed except me: I stayed up to watch the movie.  During one of the long, slow, blue and white scenes filmed from the surveillance cameras, and unobserved  by me, Liza came out of her room and started walking to the living room, I was so engrossed in watching the screen for any sign of whatever might happen that I jumped about a foot when I saw her moving towards me down the dark hallway.

Insomniac theater presents: Triangle

Wednesday, January 5, 9:52 AM

Triangle  was completely unknown to me until I read about it on Cortez the Killer's year-end review at the Bloodsprayer.com  (read the article here).  I don't want to rehash what he has already said, but I do  want to add my "Yeah, wow!"

In terms of "jumping out of your skin" moments, Triangle  had the most of any movie I'd watched in quite a while.  Poor Olivia, I would grab her anytime something scary happened.  And there were plenty of scary moments to be had.

Triangle doesn't waste any time getting started.  As soon as the main characters are introduced to the viewer, crazy things begin to happen. And it doesn't stop until the end, leaving me somewhat breathless. There were some inconsistencies along the way, but I quickly forgot them as soon as the blood started to flow.

And like many good horror movies,Triangle doesn't reveal all its secrets until the very end.  There were times when it reminded me of 2007's Los Cronoscrimenes,  but in the end,  it is its own movie.