Sunday, October 23, 2011

Curiosity Killed the Cat

Today was a beautiful fall day, high around 70 degrees.  There is a definite advantage to living in southern Georgia.  I am taking it as pay back for the crushingly hot summer.  How did I choose to celebrate this beautiful gift of a day?  By stretching out on the couch in my big fluffy bathrobe and watching Twilight (Catherine Hardwicke, 2008).

Yes, I know, I had a nearly infinite quantity of alternatives to watch-hundreds stored on an external hard drive, a Blockbuster right around the corner, plus all the movies available for free over the Internet.  But my interest was piqued yesterday during the trailers for The Thing and I decided to take a peek at the supernaturally beautiful Cullen clan and the amazingly plain Bella (Kristen Stewart, doing her long, tall drink of tepid water impersonation, not at all like her totally kick ass Joan Jett).

I don't want to make fun of Twilight because, at this point, it is like making George W. Bush, they have all been made and the world has moved on.  So I am going to be brief.

 Basically, the movie breaks down like this:

Vampires acting subtle and mysterious while wearing awesome clothes, driving really nice cars, and having a fantastic place to call a crypt-10 minutes

Not very interesting special effects driven action-3 minutes

Amazingly banal teenage inner monologues-102 minutes

Trying to catch a glimpse of Rosellie Cullen (Nikki Reed) in her baseball uniform-5 minutes.

Nikki Reed playing baseball, insert "America's Favorite Pastime"  joke here

By the way, Nikki Reed co-wrote (at 13) and starred in a much better movie about teen-age angst, 13 (also directed by Catherine Hardwicke, 2003).

Everyone knows the saying, "Curiosity killed the cat/satisfaction brought him back,"  I fear those two hours are gone forever.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What!!! OK, it's definitely become cool to hate Twilight, but I actually really like them. Granted, I am biased, as I swear straight down that I was one of the very first to ever have read or heard of the books originally - I had to actually request for them in my school's library at one point as no one knew about them! So yeah, I have a secret love for them, and the books are so much better than the films anyway, albeit not greatly written, but who cares when the story is so good :)

ALSO one of my fave movies used to be Thirteen! (yes, how unusual, a young teen liking an angsty young teen movie where "it just understands me!" lol)